A good “Time Out” has four (4) stages: Recognize , Retreat , Relax , and Return .
- Recognize
Recognize that you are escalating and may lose control of what you say or do.
- Remove
Once you recognize that you are about to lose control disengage, remove yourself, back off, and put some space between you and the other person.
- Relax
Take steps to relax calm yourself down. Some things that you can do include: Deep Breathing Exercises or the 4-7-8 Breath , Progressive Muscle Relaxation , taking a walk, or petting your dog. Focus on something or someone other than the person you have been arguing with. Consciously choose to calm down.
- Return
After you have calmed down, return to deal with the issue that was the subject of the argument.
Created by Ronald T. Potter-Efron, MSW, PhD, author of Angry All the Time: An Emergency Guide to Anger Control.